Thank goodness

I've finished! I am a fully qualified Massage Therapist (Cert 4) as of 3:30 yesterday afternoon. We went out for drinks and dinner last night to celebrate. I'm just so glad it's all over and I can get back to life.

Talking of which.

It's not often I put faith in television, but one programme recently had me reassessing our family situation. The other night Aiden and I watched "Honey, We're Killing The Kids". Flawed? yes. Sensationalistic? Absolutely. But...they took a very chaotic family (6 unruly brats under 10), changed their eating habits, their sleeping arrangements, exercise routine and paternal involvement. They brought in 3 simple rules a week for three weeks for the family to follow in an effort to bring routine and health back into the family's life/lives.

And it worked. At the end of the three weeks the children and parents were much happier and healthier. I couldn't get over the change. The children didn't lose spirit. They still ran around making noise, but they also knew when it was time to settle down to dinner/sleep/exercise. In fact, noticeable changes were present by the end of the first day, with all children falling into bed at a reasonable time, due to the lack of sugar and caffeine.

I was inspired!

Yesterday morning I called a family meeting and announced that I was implimenting three rules as of Tuesday (shopping day) although some are starting this afternoon.

They're nothing dramatic but they will get us back on track.

1. No lollies, chocolate, caffeine or alcohol. Lee and Aiden were rather smug over the caffeine part of the rule until I reminded them that Pepsi Max and Diet Coke are full of the stuff. Their faces fell about a foot, but I believe it'll be worth it.

2. Erin and Aiden are to go for a walk everyday after school. At this point I've told them it will be 2 laps around the oval but it will change as the habit kicks in.

3. We, as a family, will spend 20 minutes after dinner cleaning. Even Connor is able to take some things from the dishwasher in the laundry to the kitchen, so I see this as being good for family togetherness. Twenty minutes isn't a lot of time, but when we're all pitching in, it adds up to at least an hour of cleaning time, more when Casi and Blake are here.

I'm really excited. It's the first positive reaction I've had to anything in months and I can't wait to start.

Well, it's time to crank the music up and clean the house.

Have a nice weekend.

My two cents worth

I haven't felt a whole lot like blogging or LJing lately. Life has been somewhat difficult and I have wanted to keep to myself.

But...

There's quite a discussion going on in various forums at the moment as to who should take responsibility for an author's career. Is it up to the author or the editor to further a work and push it for consideration within Year's Bests, Awards etc.

Opinion tends to be that it is up to the author to take care of the interests of the work. If the editor doesn't, then maybe the author should take control and get the story under the eye of the people that matter.

I agree.

But, I have to add another opinion as to why certain stories weren't picked up by a certain editor for a certain Year's Best. Maybe the editor simply didn't think the stories were of high enough quality. While the editor made her own comments regarding submission practice, at no time did she say she hadn't read the stories.

Most of us being published in the Australian market are earning a reputation, virtually overnight. We go to Cons, we hang out together, read each others' works, pat each other on the back. We take a certain level of success for granted.

However, we are competing in a world-wide market. I know Ellen Datlow keeps tabs on what's going on. If a story of Exceptional Quality had appeared in Shadowed Realms, I doubt she would have let it slip by.

So maybe we're arguing from the wrong corner. Maybe we should just accept that our work isn't world standard and try that little bit harder.

Just my opinion.

Catch up time

God, don't you just hate it when you spend half an hour on a blog only to have it disappear just as you come to the end?

So, here we go again.

On Conflux.

I had no great expectations for Conflux. Everything went wrong from the moment we decided to go, and I mean EVERYTHING! Our money ran out, we found out that our flights had been booked differently to how we’d intended, my 1 day off from my course turned into 3, my ex kicked up a bit of a stink about the extra time needed to look after Aiden, we found we couldn’t cancel our flights without losing our money, we had no money for food let alone books or drinks and well, it was all turning to crap.

But we had to go anyway. We boarded our flight, comfortable in our knowledge that we were about to have the worst holiday ever and there was nothing we could do about it. I took my drugs (I can no longer fly without being knocked out) and woke up four hours later as the wheels descended. Best Flight Eva!
That was the first thing to go right for us.

And from there it escalated.

We found out, to our joy, that breakfast was included in the price of our hotel room. Yay! We were ensured of at least one filling meal a day. And fill up we did. And thank god for pastries. This tasty delights could so easily be folded up within napkins and deposited into my handbag for lunch. One pastry each kept the hunger at bay until dinner time. Thanks to our little breakfast win, we were now able to use our $20 a day complete food budget solely for dinner.

Then there was Lee’s book launch. While we didn’t sell out, we did sell enough each day to allow for a couple of drinks back at the bar each night. By the time the dead-dog came, we had enough to buy a drink for a couple of friends.

On friends.

I met up with Llyn Triffitt and found my long-lost Siamese twin. Not only did we share the same name (Triffitt being my former married name), but we’re the same height, have very short hair, were born 2 days apart (making us both Cancerians) (okay 2 days and 3 years, but you get what I mean) and have the same fertility problems. We found we’d both lost ovaries due to cysts and had a largely depleted chance of falling pregnant. Finding out about my 5 pregnancies must have given her some hope. Now I just have to find her a new husband named Lee Battersby and our duel lives will be complete! Oh, and her husband’s name is Iain, which is, of course, the Scottish form of John. So, there you go.

And we clicked like long lost friends.

My other great find as far as friends go was finally meeting the wonderful Dirk Flinthart. I’d say it was love at first sight, but that distinction goes to my beloved. I bought a story from Dirk for issue 11 of ASIM (Corpus Christi) so knew him to be a talented writer, but nobody told me that is also A) one of the finest human beings you’ll ever meet and B) taller than anyone else EVER! I met Dirk as I was walking into a panel. He grabbed me by the arm and said “Lyn Battersby! I’ve been wanting to meet you.” There’s this guy holding my whole arm just with the tips of his fingers. Rather than panicking, I looked for the name tag so I could mention it to security.

“Dirk Flinthart! Hello!” I hugged him, then he stood up for a better hug. I looked up, and up and up. Yes, I’m short. I’m shorter than just about any adult I’ve ever met. So you can imagine how intimidating it must have felt to look up at a virtual giant. And yet, you’d be wrong. Dirk wasn’t intimidating at all and I immediately felt very safe with him. If you know me, you know that doesn’t happen all that often. The last time I felt that safe with a stranger, I ended up marrying him. How long do you have to actually know someone before you can consider them one of your closest friends? I don’t know how it works for other people, but I now think of Dirk as being in that category.

Matt Farrer

I met Matt the day Fandomedia 1 started. I’d heard of him and Lee had started an on-line correspondence with him, but Fandomedia was the first time I met him and Conflux the second.

Matt was kept busy throughout the Con, but he always managed to stop for a quick chat on his way to the next crisis. However, once the Con was over, he gave the whole of Tuesday over to showing us the Canberra you don’t see. This is country Australia as you imagine it for Queensland or the NT or even WA, but not our nations capital.

Thank you, Matt for one of the best days I’ve ever had. Lee and I will always treasure those hours we spent with you.

Lisa.

I’ve become a big Lisa fan. Formerly known as “Simono’s girlfriend” Lee and I both got to know Lisa as a friend in her own right over the four days. We were not disappointed.

There were others, too, who made their mark. John Robertson and his girlfriend Jo, Wuffie and of course Lily Chrywenstrom who I’ve known for a few years now and get to know better each time we meet up.

Ellen Datlow was a fabulous guest and one of the highlights for Lee and I was splitting a bottle or two with Ellen, Dirk, Kate Eltham and Rob Hoge one night.

Yes, Conflux worked out for the best. I know there were problems, but they didn’t effect me and I had a wonderful time.

And now onto the everyday stuff.

I took Aiden to see the Dead People exhibition at the Convention Centre. A fair amount of controversy has surrounded this exhibition but as a massage therapist I decided to go as it gives you a rare look at muscle structure and function. Usually I consider myself to be a person of strong constitution, and both Aiden and I enjoy the gore aspect of shows like CSI and the Crime Channel. This was different. Aiden looked at two bodies then went to watch a DVD about evolution. I looked at all the bodies, but came away feeling quite upset by it all. Two years ago these people were alive. The details surrounding their deaths are hazy. They may or may not have been executed for their political leanings. They may or may not have been criminals. They may or may not have given their bodies voluntarily. Going into the exhibition I decided not to let my judgement be affected by the past. Once inside, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the future.

I once decided to give my body to science. I still think I will. I do not, however, want to give it for art.

Casi is currently studying some obscure world event thing for Society and Environment. As a result she needed to watch Forrest Gump, so she could see the impact one man can have on his family, his country and the world.

Casi and I had a huge fight on Friday after school. We had both reached the stage of declaring we never wanted to see each other again. Harsh words were said. We didn’t know how to retract them. We glowered each other and wondered what to do next.

Casi said she had to watch the DVD. I said she was grounded. She apologised. I relented and drove her down to the video store. We watched Forrest Gump together. We sat side by side and talked over all the implications of Forrest and Jennie’s lives, their hopes, their expectations, society’s expectations and their outcomes. In the end, we decided, life comes down to parental love.

You had to be there. It was beautiful.

And the connection continued.

Lee is heavily into the World Cup right now.

I’m not.

I did, however, find the first season of Footballer’s Wives the other night. Last night Lee sat down in the lounge-room to watch some obscure game. I disappeared into the bedroom to watch an episode or two of Footballer’s Wives. Casi followed me, grumbling about the inequality of it all and why did Lee have to watch his stupid sport, and doesn’t he know that it’s not real football and that only Aussie Rules is real and why can’t she use the computer and why don’t I go back to watching Neighbours if I want to watch a soap, and how long will this go on for and…

By the end of the first episode we were both hooked. We watched all four episodes of the first disk and Lee was made to wait in the office until we’d finished.

Ha-Ha.

He has football. I have Footballer’s Wives. It’s almost the same thing.

And that, as they say, is that.

If you want to catch up with what Lee is up to, jump on over to ASif and read the ongoing interview with him there. Ask questions, offer opinions, be friendly.

Have a great week!

Eagerly anticipated...

Despite my recent (unannounced) decision not to blog and/or LJ anymore, I will be posting my version of Conflux here soon. I will blog it rather than LJ it, so it will go through the Battblush LJ feed. This, of course, means it won't contain any cuts.

Just in case a glitch occurs, a general summary would be:

Conflux ROCKED!

General updatey goodness

My Certificate Four in Massage course has started. In three months time I should be a fully qualified Massage Therapist. Three months after that (or maybe six, depending on whether I go full or part time) I should also have my Diploma in Remedial Massage which will qualify me to do, well, Remedial Massage. After that I'll decide whether to branch into a Physiotherapy degree on a part-time basis.

The course is so much harder than I expected it to be, simply because a lot of it involves Human Biology, a subject I pretty much failed at High School. Still, I'm always up for a challenge. I may have to study twice as hard as everyone else in the course just to understand anatomical theory but the effort I'm making is paying off. I now know a Popliteal Fossa from a Cubital Fossa and the Anterior Triangle from the Posterior Triangle from the Inguinal Triangle and can point out all the no-go spots of massage (namely, all those above, plus the kidneys, eye sockets, elbow indentations, lymph nodes and armpits as well as breasts on a woman).

I'm loving the course and enjoy the learning environment. One week in and I'm already enjoying giving massage more than receiving it. I'm now quite proficient at the back and legs and have it on good authority that I'm the Queen of the Gluteus Maximus. Apparently nobody does the lower butt like I do. Yay me!

So here's an invitation. For the duration of my Cert 4 course I'm happy to practice on willing guinea pigs for nix. Anyone who does take advantage of this automatically qualifies for my 'mates rates' after I'm qualified, ie, they'll receive the full massage experience for half price. The only thing is, you'll have to come to my house in Clarkson. The price of petrol is so high, it's not worth my while to give away both a massage and petrol. I will be available on Saturdays and Sundays. The other thing you'll have to keep in mind is that as I'm not qualified, I may not YET be as good as your regular therapist. I'm still learning and practising, but the upside is, the more I practice on you, the better I'll be.

At the moment my practice sessions will run for half an hour. As my skills and knowledge base grow, so will the time I take. At the moment I will be concentrating on back and legs. The massage will be for relaxation, not deep tissue manipulation. This will change as I'm taught new skills. I will only be taking on three clients per day, one morning and two afternoon, so you can email me at llbatt@dodo.com.au to make a booking.

Sorry sorry sorry

Get in line

This week has been quite eventful for Battboy and I. Individually we've managed to majorly annoy friends. While mine resulted in a bit of a rant in a public forum, Lee had the privilege of receiving hate mail.

I'd like to be able to report that this is a totally new incident but, well, I can't. Lee's received such letters before (on at least two other occasions) but this was particularly depressing and distressing. We came home and I gave Lee a back massage while we chatted about what we want from our lives. In the end we decided that life was about us and the kids and no one else. If it ends up making us hermits, then we'll be happy hermits together.

In other news, today we went to the KSP centre open day. Lee and I were asked to give a reading of our works. Lee chose "The Dark Ages", a story featured in "Through Soft Air" while I read the first third of "The Hanging Tree" which can be read in Borderlands 6. We both received positive feedback about our stories which was one of the few good things about the experience.

Gaelan sucks!

Big Brother is back. Yay! And that's all I have to say about that. For now.

The best bit

My kids are with me for the holidays. You have no idea how happy this makes me. Aiden is back with me full time as of this week, so I'm over the moon.

Growing up (Please don't be offended by what I write, but I'm still learning)

I went out to my friend Kellene's 25th birthday on Friday night. She decided to hold it at The Court, which was fine, I've been there before, and well, it was fine.

Now, I've spent the better part of my life as a good little Witness girl, so there were some streams of life from which I was cocooned. Since leaving the religion I've had the opportunity to meet and befriend quite a few gay and lesbian people and thought I'd come a long way in my ideologies.

Turns out I wasn't quite as tuned in as I thought I was. On Friday night I realised:
1) I've never met an actual man in drag before (Madison Square and Vogue were gorgeous and were a delight to meet)
2) I've never seen two real men kissing before. (By real I mean not on tv)

So that's two more experiences I can tick off.

And yes, I blushed.

I took Sheldon with me, so at least I had someone to share my insights with on the way home. Sheldon was a lot of fun and we had some amazing conversations. Everyone loved him and I mingled a lot because of him. I'm very claustrophobic in crowds and tend to hide in corners or behind Lee, but Sheldon kept it all light and fun and I hardly felt uncomfortable at all.

So cute

Connor has reached a whole new level of cuteness this week. He loves nothing more than to slide down Lee's legs, yelling 'weee' as he goes. He's also learnt to climb into and out of his high chair by himself and pull his trousers/shorts off while I'm putting his t-shirt/jumper on. His other new trick is two fold. I say 'bed' and he either runs into his room and stands by his cot, or he turns tail and heads towards the other end of the house while shaking his head and yelling 'no'. They don't get much more adorable than this.

I'm off to bed now. Have a fabulous week.

Stick with me baby and I'll make you a star

I woke up to the most fabliest email today...

My name is (name withheld cos it seems the right thing to do), and I would like to introduce myself and firstly say how much I enjoyed reading "The Memory of Breathing". I am an independent film producer, and I think that "The Memory of Breathing" would make a great short film, and so I am interested in optioning the film rights for "The Memory of Breathing".

Oh.
My.
God!

It's Australian and it's indy. Therefore it has serious cred. I've always felt 'Memory' would make a great little movie. And here's my chance to see it in that new fangled gizmo called Technicolour that we've all been hearing about. Okay, it's more likely it'll be shown at the Uni sausage sizzle next summer, but hey! TMOB will be accessible to more people than ever before.

Am I stoked? Hell, yes!

But I'm just gonna wait to see what Peter Jackson offers :)

In other good news, it seems we can't get a refund on our flights, so it looks like we're both going to Conflux after all.

I have to say I'm pleased.

In other writing news:

LJ user Cassiphone had this to say about "Edges" (Shadow Box 9 - Redback issue)

3. Edges, Lyn Battersby, Shadowed Realms 9 - Despite the disorientation at seeing my baby's name attached to a sexually aggressive character, I thought this was a really effective piece of horror about multiple personality syndrome - shows the amount of story you can actually pack into flash fiction.

and about "The Hanging Tree" (Borderlands 6)

17. The Hanging Tree, Lyn Battersby, Borderlands 6 I'll be reviewing this issue for AS if - but this is one of the two standout stories in the issue, an angry but controlled story with strong characters and a sense of Australian history. It's based on a premise that could easily turn ugly (or, at least, trite) in the hands of a less accomplished writer, but the fierceness of the narrative transcends the story's gimmick. Where "The Memory of Breathing" was restrained and tense, this story is wild and raw and emotionally violent (though, I believe, less actually disturbing than TMOB - but I don't particularly want to imagine a story that's *more* emotionally disturbing).

It's funny how these things turn up when you least feel like a writer.

Had a very enjoyable lunch with my friend Jen yesterday followed by a relaxed evening with LJ users PRK, Mynxii and Cupid's Bow. Much wine was consumed and by the time I got home I was feeling rather light headed. After an emotionally draining month I started my day/evening feeling rather hands offish, but I soon mellowed and rather enjoyed the 'touchy-feely' aspect of sitting on the couch, snuggled up with three lovely people, chatting as we watched the world go by.

Fuche, I have to say, was rather noisy, but seated as we were, there was a sense of removal from what was going on behind us. At one stage they turned the music up to rather a disagreeable volume (from my father's mouth to you) but Mynxii politely asked them to turn it down again and they complied. The venue itself wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but the waitress was lovely and accomodating and the converation was both easy-going and intellectualy. I've not spent a lot of time with Cathy (or should I say, Dr Cathy now?), but I do always enjoy those moments I do get with her. She's intelligent and witty and sweet. She's not had the easiest time of it, but she's a strong person and I really admire her.

A fun weekend ahead. Looking forward to a bbq lunch tomorrow with Calli and Chesh, Sarah Xu and her husband Andrew and of course the various accompanying babies, then another bbq lunch with Lee's family and my mum and step-dad on Saturday. I'm can't wait.

And then there are the Ditmars. I'm not sure which day they're on, but I think it's Saturday. I'm up for two awards, 'Best Short Story' for TMOB and 'Best New Talent'. Lee won BNT three years ago, so it would be nice to have a 'hisnhers' matching pair :) So, if you're voting...

Have a lovely holiday break. Out of all the holidays, Easter is generally the one I least get into. It's just so wrong on so many accounts, and usually I have Swancon to hide behind, but I am looking forward to the chance to be sociable over the next few days.

Enjoy Conjure those of you who are going. Have a drink for me :)