Friday, December 30, 2005

End of the Year Reminescing

I did it last year.

Here it is again.

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Told my ex-husband that the breakdown of our marriage wasn't his fault.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I can't remember what my resolutions were. Yes, we will be making more tomorrow.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Callisto Shampoo and Cheshire had a baby boy, Vincent. I'm very proud of Calli for her mothering skills. She's wonderful at it.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No. But Erin's horse died. This was Sharon's horse initially. This has brought up the subject of Sharon's death a little earlier than expected. I'm not entirely happy with the way it's being handled.

5. What countries did you visit? None. Again.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? An Aurealis Award for my mantlepiece.

7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 26th March, our wedding date. 27th March, the day I received my Ditmar Award for Best Professional Achievement. 28th March, the day I heard someone call me "Mrs Battersby" for the first time. I was in hospital with a severe burn and a nurse called for me. I smiled, despite the pain. 26th November, Connor's first birthday.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Marrying Lee was the biggest (and the best) but I have to say that winning the Ditmar is a photo finish second.

9. What was your biggest failure? Not regaining my size 8-10 figure. I spend a lot of time hating myself for this.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? There was a few days worry when my doctor found a lump in my left breast. I didn't tell many people about it, but I was terrified. Fortunately it went away by itself.
Oh, and I burnt my hand while making Connor's bottle. Lee took me to hospital. The burn was severe yet there is no scar at all.

11. What was the best thing you bought? A halter-neck dress that I wore to Grant and Sonia's wedding. It looked fabulous and I felt sexy for the first time in years.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Lee is my hero. Every second week I drop my children off with their father. Then I fall apart. Lee supplies me with hugs, kisses, and a girly dvd. I love him so much for his compassion, his love and his understanding.

Aiden is another one. It wasn't easy to tell his dad that he wanted to move in with me, but he stuck to his guns and insisted. He's moving in with me on a shared care basis in February and it looks to become permanent in second term. I'm so proud of him.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I don't want to talk about it. It makes me too unhappy.

14. Where did most of your money go? Queensland, the wedding, the new house. The children.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The wedding. Winning the Ditmar. Being asked to be a Guest of Honour at next year's Fandomedia. Being nominated for an Aurealis.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005? Chicago by Sufjan Stevens. Tripping by Robbie Williams. The Tide is Turning by Roger Waters.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:i. happier or sadder? ii. thinner or fatter? iii. richer or poorer? Nothing really changed. It fluctuated wildly throughout the year, but ended up pretty much as it started.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Exercise. I hate my body.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Worrying about the state of my body. I realise I have hangups. It's my plan to focus on something else next year. Like my hair.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Spent it with Lee's family and former family. My mum, brother and 'dad' were nowhere to be seen.

21. Who did you meet for the first time? Chuckie! I love him. He's wonderful, funny, talented. Jen and Kellene. Jen and Chuckie are my beer buddies. Kellene taught me that there's no use by date on grief.

22. Did you fall in love in 2005? Over and over again with the same man. I fall in love with Lee on a daily basis. When he plays with the children, when he pours me a glass of wine, when he holds me while I go to sleep.

23. What was your favourite TV program? EastEnders.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I've only hated one person in my life. I hate her now. I hated her this time last year. It's sad because at one time she was like a mother to me.

25. What was the best book you read? Easy easy easy. "Spotted Lily" by Anna Tambour. This book allowed me to appreciate my body and how it looks for about a week. I finished the book three weeks ago and I've resumed my anti-body stance. Apart from my breasts. I do have great breasts. And they're lump free.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Sufjan Stevens. His song "Chicago" is a Triffbatt favourite. I consider it our family song. Ask Erin her favourite song. It's "Cargo". The answer never changes. She asks to hear it every time we get in the car.

I also rediscovered Robbie Williams. His song Tripping taps into my feelings of parental inadequacy.

27. What was your favorite film of this year? Probably Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 36. There were presents, I remember that. I don't remember where we went.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having my Triffitt children living with me. Seeing Lee's collection in print.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? Jeans and t-shirt. I'm rectifying that by shopping for a couple of skirts tomorrow. I feel such a frump at the moment. I want to rediscover a sense of style in 2006.

31. What kept you sane? Erin.

32. What political issue stirred you the most? Politics is boring. There was no election, so no show bags.

33. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005. My family begins and ends with Lee and the children.

34. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I know its gone and there's going to be violence
I've taken as much as I'm willing to take
Why do you say we should suffer in silence?
My heart is broken there's nothing to break

Robbie Williams - Tripping. I relate to this song every time I drop my kids off with their father for another fortnight. My heart violently breaks each and every time.

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