Yes, it's that time of the year again. Big Brother is back on our screens and fourteen/fifteen people have basically announced "Abuse me. Call me names. Tell me how much you hate me."
And hate them I do. Apart from a few notable exceptions I find them to be supercilious, nasty, vain and on the whole quite boring.
Let's begin with Michelle. "Waaaaah. It's my birthday. I'm 25. I want a party. Waaaaaah. I'm gonna chuck a wobbly because I'm not doing anything for my special day." Hello, reality check. YOU'RE ON TELEVISION YOU MINDLESS BINT.
Next, Constance. Had her sized up from the first moment. Can't stand her. Trashy. Likes to go around telling people "I'm loud, I'm crazy." Having a personality is like writing a good story. Show, don't tell.
Nelson and Glenn. Ocker guys who'd be the first through the door at the Inseminator's Ball. LOSERS!!!!!!!! Marriage to these two slobs can be summed up in four words: "Where's my dinner bitch?" You just know Glenn's got a healer named Blue at home.
Tim. One of my exceptions. Intelligent, witty. I like him. His personal motto is "Whatever you do, never reduce your complex belief systems into a simple motto." Better than Redneck Nelson's "Relax". Like Duh.
Gianna. If I can quote Madonna (and I think I can) "Strike a pose, there's nothing to it." Loves the camera and will likely gain many nominations due to it. Another bint.
Logan (David and Greg). Another of my exceptions. Cute, fun, sweet. I love them and hope they don't get busted.
Christie. Who? Her name came up on the site when I did a search just now. Can't even remember what she looks like.
Geneva. Ummm. Hmmmm. I have to make a small confession here. Come closer cos I need to whisper it. I like her. Lee doesn't.
Michael. Not at all interesting. Sees himself as a peacemaker. Let them have their bitch fight, I say.
Dean. Lee hates him. Frankly I don't notice him one way or the other.
Hot Dogs. Mostly harmless. Again, fairly unnoticeable.
Kate. On her side only because Nelson is so dead against her. And why? Because she reminds him of his ex. Come on!!!!!
Angela. The only woman I really like for herself. Intelligent, brash. I think she's cool.
At this stage I don't really cares who wins. Okay, if pushed I'd say either one of Tim, Angela or the Logans (although tonight's Logan kissed Michelle. Eugghh.)
Here's Lee's list.
"They're all crap. Especially Dean. He's the crappest. Kill the lot of them. Put them out of my misery." (There was also some stuff about testicles and things being ripped out of eye sockets, but I think we all get the gist.)
In other news.
"The Memory of Breathing" has received a good review from Locus magazine and Rich Horton has put it on his Recommended Reading List for the month. This has really inspired me to keep going and today I wrote over 1700 words. I'm a happy camper.
If I keep this up I might actually be a professional writer by the time I'm 60.