Tuesday, October 11, 2005

There can be only one reason

My life SUCKS!!!!

I'm sneezing uncontrollably

I've gone through two boxes of tissues since Saturday

I'm continuously rubbing the roof of my mouth with my tongue. I even wake up to find myself at it

I've now got blisters on the roof of my mouth

My forehead, nose, lips, cheeks, neck, ears and hair are itchy.

My fingernails are itchy

I want to die

I want a razor blade.

There can be only one reason.



Ode On A Tissue:

Plaintive tissue, so serene.

Any minute now you'll be...

Sorry, the rest of the Ode On A Tissue has been smudged by the Sneeze On A Tissue.

More creative lines about my affliction

There was a young lady from Huntingdale

That had a nose as big as a whale

When she did sneeze

They all felt the breeze

Was less of a wind than a gale

There was a young lady from Perth

Who ummmm let's see

The only thing that rhymes with Perth is smurf, so we'll just stick with the first limerick. Maybe I should try some Haiku?

A sneeze in the arch

Way of life beckons to my

Indecent calling

I never mentioned it would be good Haiku

From the psychiatrist's couch.

Yes, it's my mother's fault.

Here are five reasons why.

  1. She was a teenage mother (ie: at 16 barely able to look after herself let alone a baby)
  2. She smoked throughout her pregnancy
  3. She smoked throughout my childhood
  4. She smoked in the car ( I think smoking in the car is child abuse)
  5. As an asthmatic herself, she has crappy genes

Have a great day. I'm off to take an antihistamine and head back to bed.

Except, I have to go shopping for a new dress for Angriest's upcoming nuptials. Hmmmm difficult decision