I love having Connor home. We get to hang out and play games, and do school stuff and watch Bones together. Sometimes, however, we have to go out.
Today is shopping day. Connor was having a great morning. No vomiting and a bright smile gave me hope. Anticipating the humidity, I gave him a small drink of water (about half a cup) with his lunch then headed out.
5 minutes in and Connor ran away from me. He came back 2 minutes later, only to disappear again. And again. And again. By about the 6th take off I was ready to cry. Of course, I knew where he was. He was in the toilet, vomiting.
Water sets Connor off. It's one of those things we know but can do nothing about. The boy is a human from Planet Earth. He needs water, it can't be helped. Sometimes a Chupa Chup helps. Today it didn't. After 25 minutes I called it quits and hunted for a checkout. Two closed up as I approached them and it was all I could do not to smack the operators up the backside of their heads. Reminding myself that my son's illness was not their fault, I stamped around, looking for service Finally I found someone willing to take my purchases and managed to get it through. Connor disappeared 4 times.
Now, he's sitting in front of Ben 10, sucking on a barley sugar. He's sweaty and pale and his smile has gone. I have to get out sometimes, I just have to, if only for my own sanity, but most of the time I just can't. Sometimes I wonder if Connor and I will ever be 'normal' again.
1 comment:
Caring for someone with a chronic illness is ridiculously hard. It's upsetting and exhausting, and very few people will ever properly appreciate how much energy it saps from your life.
But the one person you can guarantee will properly appreciate it is the chronically ill person you care for, whether it's a son or a wife. And that makes it worth doing.
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